


Monster

by PreludeInZ



Series: DrabbleRouser [8]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Animal Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Romance, pet acquisition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2623166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PreludeInZ/pseuds/PreludeInZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do not read this if you don't want to hear about a gila monster being bludgeoned to death with a wrench.</p><p>Wait. Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pemm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pemm/gifts).



> theoldaeroplane asked:  
>  Monster
> 
> [1fort-2fort-redfort-blufort](http://1fort-2fort-redfort-blufort.tumblr.com/post/102659654125/monster):

**Scout/Pauling - Monster**

**(warning : brief mention of animal death)**

"…I think, maybe you remember we talked about it? Um. About how we wanted a dog? I like dogs. Y’don’t need leather gloves all up your arm to handle a dog."

She was holding the pebbly, orange and black little lizard, lovingly, if at arms length. They were on the side of Highway 550, and the guy trying to sell the lizard was pretty much the definition of shifty. Scout had grown up on the south side of Boston, he had a fairly high tolerance for shiftiness, but his brain was ringing with alarm bells and he couldn’t think past all the red flags. At least the gloves had been provided. Scout really hoped they were thick enough.

"He’s so sweet, though. I could call him Chompy."

"I think maybe you ain’t gonna top anything already has the word  _monster_  in its actual name. Honest to god, darlin’, he is poisonous as fuck. Dogs ain’t poisonous. I ain’t ever heard of a dog was poisonous. _”_

 _“_ Mr. Chomps is just a baby, he’s not  _that_ poisonous. He’s _beautiful_.”

Scout shuddered as a little, angry tongue flickered and hissed at him. “…yeeeah. Okay. I’m, uh. I’m gonna put my foot down about this one. ‘Cause he  _is_  a goddamn baby. You ever seen one of these full sized? He’ll be as long as your arm. He’ll weigh like thirty pounds.”

She bit her lip, stroked the top of his head with the tip of her finger. The lizard thrashed a little, and Scout felt like he was about to have a heart attack. “Well, but…” Miss Pauling brightened hopefully. “What about Lord Chompington? What’ve you got against the poor little guy?”

Scout sighed, beckoned to the guy who was trying to sell them the lizard. He had backed off to “give the happy couple some room.” Scout shook his head and gave him a stare that indicated any further salesmanship was not going to go anywhere.

"One bit me. They don’t kill you. They are mean little bastards, they are  _always angry,_ an’ they don’t run, an’ they  _know_  they can’t kill you, so they bite an’ they  _hang on_. Bit me on the wrist, through six layers of tape, and I screamed until I passed out. Dell had to beat the thing to death with a wrench. Then I was sick in bed for a  _week_. What I got against Chompington is that he is pain an’ agony lookin’ for somebody to happen to. GIve the lizard back to the crazy guy. We’re gonna go to the pound an’ look at dogs.”


End file.
